Let’s keep this simple. Simple is all I can handle at the moment.  I have lost my mind. It’s gone. Completely gone. There’s no way to put this nicely. I have reached an entirely new level of dumb. This week has been reminiscent of the time I left all the groceries in the car overnight. But, it’s worse than that. It’s so much worse than that.

It all started when I wrote my sister a thank you note for my wonderful birthday gift and mailed it away. And then, a few days later, I wrote my sister a thank you note for my wonderful birthday gift and mailed it away… again. Memory lapse. It happens. Right?

But there’s more. I took a wrong turn in my neighborhood. Yes, I got lost 0.3 miles from the house I’ve lived in for 6 years. It happens. Does it really?

Then, there was the time I went for coffee and wanted to pay with the app on my phone…just like I’ve done everyday for the past four months. I stood there struggling to scan the barcode when I hear “Turn your phone around, Sweetie. The barcode needs to face the scanner.” Mor. Ti. Fied. Have you ever heard an entire Starbucks simultaneously laugh? It’s actually a happy sound, unless they’re laughing at you. It happens? Tell me it happens.

And then, I cannot believe I am publicly documenting this. I’ve decided to be part of Team in Training for the Nike Women’s Half Marathon in April. I signed up online, paid, read my email confirmation and got so excited I printed a training schedule. I wanted to join a local team so I emailed Team in Training asking what I needed to do to join. And this…this is what I got in return: “Krissy, in order to run with that team, you will have to run in the same race. You have registered for the Rock n’ Roll half marathon in March.”

Ummmm. Seriously? No way. I signed up for the wrong race? That can’t be. So I checked my email confirmation. “Thank you for signing up for the Rock n’ Roll half marathon!” OMG. OMG. OMG. How does one even do this? How do you go through pages and pages of registration forms, pick the wrong race, pay and never notice!? It happens? No. No it doesn’t. This does NOT happen. Someone, anyone, send me some smart. I seem to have misplaced mine.

To be safe, I’m posting a recipe that requires pushing one button. I can do this. You can do this. You should do this. I found this recipe in Martha Stewart Living and immediately marked it. Here, pear, oats, cinnamon, ginger and yogurt are blended into a thick, healthy, flavorful smoothie. The oats and yogurt really thicken things. The more ripe your pears the better. I like mine close to rotten and mushy, much like my brain. And the ginger? Not only does it add a nice spice, but it’s been known to enhance cognitive health. Yes! So do what you like with this. Use soy milk, add maple syrup, add nutmeg. For me? I’m quadrupling the ginger.

Pear, Oat, Cinnamon and Ginger Smoothie (serves 2) (adapted from Martha Stewart Living)

Ingredients:
2 large ripe pears, chopped
3/4 cup milk (I used unsweetened vanilla almond milk)
6 oz yogurt (I used 0% greek yogurt)
1/4 cup rolled oats (gluten free)
5-7 ice cubes
2 grams fresh ginger* (1 chunk about the size of the tip of your pinky)
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
Pinch of kosher salt

Directions:

1. Place all ingredients in blender and blend until smooth. Garnish with more cinnamon if desired.

*I use a Blendtec blender and would feel comfortable blending a whole watermelon. The little piece of ginger was pureed in no time. If you do not have a high-powered blender I would grate the ginger first so you’re not left with ginger chunks in your smoothie.

Notes:

1. I used almond milk because that’s the only milk we had in the house. Use any milk you’d like.
2. I am not pregnant. This is not pregnancy brain. I am psychic though because you were totally thinking that.
3. The original recipe adds maple syrup and almond butter. I enjoyed mine without. I have made several versions of this smoothie and I’m sharing the one I enjoy the most.
4. I don’t recommend using powdered ginger. I tried it out in one of the trials and it’s MUCH better with fresh.
5. Is it terrible that I want to add bourbon?

 

 

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