The cloudy, wet, cold weather seems appropriate today. I am sad. We’re all terribly sad. We all know a teacher. I know quite a few. My very best friends are teachers. My mom is an elementary school principal. I am not a parent, but I am an aunt. I’m a Godmother. I’m a coach.  This hurts. My heart hurts.

I was ready to work the weekend away, but after the tragedy in Newtown Friday, that didn’t happen. I wanted to be with my family. I talked to my parents on the phone. I visited my sister and smothered my nephew in kisses. I had breakfast with my grandfather. On Sunday I spent the day with my husband picking out a Christmas tree and decorating our house. I found myself feeling guilty.  But I quickly realized this is how we heal. Now is the time our families should gather. We should sit at big tables, laugh and eat too much. We should make cookies together. We should take off of work to stay in our pajamas all day and watch movies together. Because now, more than ever, we need each other.

Last night was the first night we had our Christmas tree up. It’s so pretty that I slept on the couch right next to it with the lights on all night long. I woke up this morning to children singing Silent Night on the TV. The news was replaying SNL’s tribute to Newtown. I cried. Again. I cried Friday night in the grocery store when I saw a family with a young child shopping together. I cried on my way home from my grandfather’s house yesterday as I listened to Christmas music. I cry at every picture I see of an innocent, front-toothless 6 year old whose life was taken way too early. I cried hearing our President speak each victim’s name. I’m crying now. I don’t know how we recover from something like this, but we will. Together we will.

I have a few recipes to share but I don’t want to talk about beets and citrus. It seems irrelevant. Who cares? What I do want to tell you is that I brought cookies to work today and saw people smile. I gave some to complete strangers. It felt weird at first, but then it felt right. I picked up trash that was on the ground so no one would slip. I stopped on a busy street to let an elderly man cross. And you know what? No one even honked. Our hearts are sad today but they are still big. So do something kind. Make someone smile. Hug your kids. Tell a teacher  “thank you.” I don’t think we should feel guilty this holiday season about all of the love and happiness we receive, but I do think we should spread it.